- If you’re having problems getting attraction, it’s usually because of something you’re doing wrong earlier in the interaction. There are a few things you might be doing wrong:
1) Being too “gamey.” MORE IS NOT BETTER when you’re using attraction routines. Too many can get weird pretty quickly. Attraction routines are great for when you get stuck – when you don’t know what to say next. But what really generates attraction is when you demonstrate confidence, humor, etc., and of course great body language. If you’re not demonstrating these things, you’re not generating attraction, attraction routine or not.
You want to engage the people in her group, make them laugh, generate a bit of attraction and then CHILL. That is to say, once you HAVE attraction, you need to move forward to the next step. If you keep trying for more attraction you will blow it.
2) Being weak on the opener/conversation starter. If your opener is weak, you’ll usually see the effects about a minute or two in. Opening poorly can make it very hard to get attraction. If your first line sounds nervous, awkward, too eager, or like you’re reading a script, or if she’s seen you wandering around the last 15 minutes getting the courage to approach her… well, you risk getting the kind of reaction you described a couple of minutes later when you try to continue the conversation.
Practice your openers, practice making them spontaneous, invent your own openers, and above all else, HAVE FUN when you’re out, and make that energy infectious.
3) Giving up too early. Some women will giggle and be all over you when they’re attracted – many will not. Some women are bad conversationalists, some are shy, and some have bad “game” themselves and mess things up when they are attracted. Indicators of attraction are guidelines, not a straightjacket.
Don’t be too strict in worrying about the lack of indicators of attraction – if they’re not coming but you’re having a good conversation, keep moving forward and see what happens. Don’t bail just because a woman isn’t giving you strong “I like you” signals.
There’s another thing to think about too – the overall “vibe” of the room. A lot of the time, the women I approach early in the night are friendly enough, but chemistry doesn’t come easily. You can do really well for yourself by bailing from those approaches after a couple of minutes – on a high note – and re-opening at midnight when the girls have had a chance to relax, be social, and see you having a great time around the bar. Suddenly, there’s chemistry. Buck your life!
Skipping Stages
Is it possible to skip stages? Absolutely. Look at the following examples.
A man walks right up to a girl who’s just noticed him, pulls her into him, says something seductive, and plants a small kiss on her lips, which she enjoys. He then pulls away, but she leans in to try and kiss him again. Where’s the girl? She’s moved instantly from being indifferent to kissing him to needing to kiss him again.
Or, a weird guy could walk up to the same girl and awkwardly try to plant one on her; she’ll recoil and go straight to Rejection.
It’s also possible for a woman to start out in the Curiosity stage (if, say, she spots a guy she really likes the look of and is exactly her type) or the Rejection stage (for instance, if she gets approached by a weird, creepy guy who makes her skin crawl). How often a woman starts out in a stage other than Indifference is directly linked to how judgmental/opinionated she is; the more she judges others, the more likely she is either to want or not want someone immediately before knowing much, if anything, about him.
Sarging is about selling yourself. That is why great salesmen and PUAs are interlinked. Remember that women are looking for a potential mating partner, so you have to demonstrate your positive qualities and believe in what you’re selling…that is YOU.
It’s no secret that the best salesmen in the world are the ones who believe in their product 100 percent.
This all boils down to their affirmation, or belief, in what they’re selling, and that’s why it’s important to believe in yourself. Doing so will make it easier to convey the positive
qualities you have to offer women.
Knowing how to sell yourself helps you display the high social status that women find irresistible.
But what is social status?
As I previously mentioned, in the animal kingdom, a man’s values are based on his status within a social context. The more valuable you present yourself, the more you’ll display a naturally-attractive exterior.
What’s interesting is that while a woman’s looks are generally most important to a man, and a man’s ‘social value’ is generally the most attractive quality to women.
This goes beyond what you do for a living. Even if you have the crappiest job in the world, you can still be attractive to women if you know how to trigger her attraction switches.
By displaying a naturally-attractive personality when you first meet a woman, you’ll be able to transcend any minor drawbacks that you have going for you.
So how do you sell yourself?
Today, I was at one of the major Computer Fair at Hong Kong to get a new laptop. The hall was super crowded, with lots of stinking bodies, hovering around the booths. I noticed that many of these people are not shoppers, but horny toads who are more interested in the show girls parading around the gadgets, rather than the stuff itself.
I was pissed off. What is worst is they blocked the whole passageway, making shoppers like me having a hard time to get through. I finally reached the Acer booth, and found this hot, sizzling show girl at the booth. She has dark, long flowing hair and she was wearing such hot shorts that my legs began to shake. Many guys were around her, ogling at her, making her very uncomfortable.
I inched my way towards her. Her eyes caught me and I caught a smile from her. I guessed she find it amusing I was wearing such nice, professional office wear, and have to stained my new shirt with all the sweat from the people around me. When I reached beside her, I whispered to her ear,
“You know something? You are causing a massive jam at this booth. What is more? You are not helping in the sales of the goods as you are catching too much attention on yourself and not the goods.”
