Hi guys,
I am going to make this short.
Many guys are asking me for tips to talk to women, how make her feel sexual
and turn her into gf.
Without further ado, here are 10 tips I always share.
1) Talk about emotional topics, like childhood topics, passions or the most
daring things she has ever done.
2) Take control of the conversation. Women like guys who can lead.
3) Pay attention to the clues she is dropping. Like touching her hair etc
4) Remember this motto, “Fun, not funny.” Many guys make the mistakes
of cracking the most funny jokes which seem fake. Women are attracted to
guys who allow them to have fun. So focus on showing them the most
excitment and enjoyment, not the most funny joke.
5) Tease women. Learn how to break the rules and make fun of them.
Go back to your childhood again and tease her like playing with her on a
playground.
6) Don’t give answers so fast. If she ask what you do, keep her
guessing. Don’t reveal everything so fast. Make her feel like she is
slowly winning you over. If not, she will lose interest quickly.
7) Use things like “cold read” or ‘Magic” to turn women on.
Play games to read her mind and tell her what you guess or observe
about her. Women love to hear opinions about themselves.
Avoid complimenting a women too much. And don’t focus on
how she look. Compliment on her graciousness and personality too.
9) Say something that you view her in a SEXUAL way. Make her feel
sexual, or you may end up in the friends zone.
10) Last tip, “Statements over questions” Instead of asking “what
do you do?” Say “You seem like you worked in a office all your life”
This allows her to refute, express her personality and most importantly,
gain your recognition.
What I have just shared is just the tip of the ice berg. If you find this useful,
then you have to download the most powerful and practical resource at
http://secret.buckmylife.com/
It contains steop by step on how to open, escalate and close a girl. Check it out.
Hi folks, it is me again.
Recently, I received an interesting enquiry. That was this guy
in Singapore that was telling me he knew a girl in club and
was getting close to her.
He escalated her into K-close (kiss close) and were wet over
each other.
But just as he was about to bring her home, the girl suddenly pushed
him away and left him.
He was confused on her actions.
Now, for this problem, let me tell you a story you’ll
understand…
A few years back, I bought a very expensive plasma screen
television. I’m not going to advertise how much I spent,
but it was more than some people pay for their cars. (I’m
a movie nut, and I like a big screen for my home
theater.)
Well, I did a lot of research, and then I ordered it
online.
About an hour after the transaction went through, I felt
this panic overtake me…
“Did I do the right thing?”
“Man… I shouldn’t have done that…”
“Can I afford this?”
“I should cancel the order…”
This is commonly referred to as “buyer’s remorse.”
One of the most common reactions a person will feel
after making a big purchase is the “oh, crap… I
shouldn’t have done that” feeling.
After the impulse to buy has been satisfied, the
emotional hole leaves all kinds of room for regret to
sneak in and take you over.
The same exact feeling happens to a woman who has
slept with a guy. Even more so if she has not had
much time to get to know him and really establish
a firm sense of trust.
She’s wondering:
“Did I do the right thing?”
“Hmmm… I shouldn’t have done that…”
“Can I afford to risk my heart on him?”
“I should break it off now…”
“Am I a slut?”
And the list goes on and on…
You have to realize that a woman’s primary focus is
on her assurance of support if something were to
“happen” after she slept with you. Guys have a small
risk compared with a woman’s risk of 9 months and
another mouth to feed.
My thoughts?
You view HER as a prize because of her beauty, and
you’re not in far enough to see that this girl also
has many liabilities. Maybe even more than her looks
can offset.
Remember, the single most important decision a man
will make is the woman he chooses as a partner. Most
guys spend less time selecting a woman than they do
their picks in fantasy football.
Don’t be one of those guys, because you will live to
regret it.
Be more cautious with her.
Think in terms of DISqualification rather than just
doing everything you can to pull her into your life.
If you do that, you’ll also find the side benefit
that she will probably be more likely to let you
into her “heart problems.”
By the way, this is the standard excuse that a woman
will give you when she’s really saying:
“We went too fast, and now I need to slam on the brakes.
But rather than make you feel rejected and risk feeling
like I was a ‘bad girl’ for what I did, I’ll point the
blame at some mysterious ‘heart problem.’ so I can avoid
feeling bad.”
I’m not being malicious towards women here.
In fact, I just got an email over the weekend from a
female model friend of mine who has the same problem
with a guy in her life. Guys use this reason to push
women away, too.
Generally speaking, women usually don’t have any issues
related to other guys when they talk about these “heart”
issues. It’s just a convenient excuse that guys will
accept and not feel rejected after they hear it.
The point here is that you are probably addicted to the
challenge of “conquering” this hot woman than you are of
making a real relationship. Guys most often do this
when they feel that they’re losing something valuable.
Even if that value was based solely on her appearance.
You’re more afraid of losing her than you are actually
wanting the relationship.
Scarcity is tricking you, my friend.
Go make a list of all the other things she adds to your
life and I think you’ll find that your pencil hardly
moves.
Go back to looking at all the other possibilities
you’ve got in your life right now, and let the woman
with the most desire and the “real deal” stand up and
wave her hands to be Ms. Right.
Let her get your attention and prove it to YOU.
Now if you genuinely want to go further with this woman,
here’s where I suggest you get started. It sounds like
you have some of these taken care of, but maybe not
all in the right direction.
THREE STEPS TO GET BACK WITH A WOMAN WHO PULLS AWAY:
1) YOU slow down the pace.
Now that you’re back to dating regularly again, you
must be the one to demonstrate some doubt and put the
brakes on yourself.
Of course, in a lot of other dating situations, she
cools off and the guy is left desperately scrambling to
get her to even see him again, but either way, it calls
for some restraint.
I talk about this quite a bit in my ebooks, but your
best demonstration of strength and Alpha Confidence comes
when you show her that you have self-discipline and
self-control. It will then give her the space she needs
to desire you again.
Let me say this again, because it is such an important
concept:
A woman will want you again when she feels like there
is nothing pushing her to you.
It’s a simple psychological principle that has worked
for me with EVERY woman that expressed hesitation about
getting together and getting physical. All you need to
do is give her the emotional experience of uncertainty
to re-awaken her desire.
Just say something like:
“You know, I’ve been thinking that maybe we’re moving
forward pretty quick. I’d like to slow it down a little
and make sure we can just be friends first. You know
what I mean?”
This will relax her, and then you keep marching forward.
Of course we know that you never try to just be
“friends first” with a woman that you’re intimately
connected to. It just doesn’t work. But you want to
create the space for her to understand that you won’t
be pressuring her.
This will create the space where you can then…
2) Establish trust and rapport.
The one thing she’s looking for before she goes
forward with you physically is that she can TRUST you.
So you must show her that you are a reliable (but not
boring) guy.
Take her out with some friends of yours that you’ve
known for a while and are fun. I’ve found this a great
way to demonstrate my social value as well as get her
out of the same old mindset.
ALPHA FORMULA #1: Rapport is NOT equal to TRUST.
Rapport LEADS to trust, but does not guarantee it.
Rapport and trust are not exactly the same thing. It’s
up to you to find out where her current trust issues
are and eliminate them.
Don’t ask here where they are, either. All you can do
is show her some vulnerability, and that she is not just
someone you’re out to score with. Maybe even a little
time.
Oh, yes, this is something every “pickup artist” on
the planet fears, but is ultimately more honest and
compelling than the “command & conquer” method of
trying to control a woman.
ALPHA FORMULA #2: Vulnerable does NOT equal WUSS.
It simply means being secure enough to demonstrate
rapport by revealing common emotions to her.
Of course you also want to…
3) Switch gears back to having FUN as fast as you
can.
The one thing I discovered that had the most impact
on making women interested in getting physical with
me again was to get her to have FUN with me.
A woman’s emotional experience and sexual attraction
with you is directly related to how much fun she
feels when she’s with you.
The more I got her active and out of her head, the
less I was “serious” and pushing to move forward in
a relationship, the more I found that she wanted
attention and time from me.
And, the reverse was true. The more I felt like she
was slipping away and the harder I worked to “fix”
things, the more I actually sabotaged the good vibe we
had together.
When she’s having fun, she has nothing else to worry
about.
When she’s having fun, she’s not in her head.
When she’s having fun, she’s connecting on a very
intense level with you.
And just one more Alpha Formula here…
ALPHA FORMULA #3: Laughing does not always equal FUN.
Fun is a more complete experience than just making
her laugh. She has to be IN the experience with you,
and having you there as part of the situation as it
unfolds.
These are shared experiences, which also create more
rapport and trust later on.
If you implement these three steps in your game with
women, even before she decides to pull on the
emergency brake with you, you’ll find you have a much
more intense and devastating effect on her.
And you’ll also understand on a deeper level what it
is that women are genuinely attracted to in a man.
And if you’d like to learn more about how to get the
girl without having to trick or hypnotize her – how
to get her by being REAL and AUTHENTIC, then get this:
Remember that your level of confidence isn’t something
“hard coded” or given to you by genetics.
You don’t “inherit” your level of self-esteem.
You build it all by YOURSELF. It’s in your head, and
it’s something that you can completely control by
taking control of your thoughts.
Period.
The Alpha Man knows that self-development is the path to
a better life. It all starts with getting educated.
Learning how to create attraction with women is not
‘accidental’. If you’are always at tails end as to why
you’re not seeing the results you want with women, like it or
not, women are COMPLEX individuals. FAR DIFFERENT, almost
total opposites of how we think as men.
Good news is, there IS a way around it. Understanding
how they think and what they’re always looking for in a man
is CRUCIAL to your success with women.
You’ll need to learn specific techniques that
are PROVEN to work in REAL-LIFE from people who are ALREADY
successful with women.
Again, if you are wondering where can you find such practical resources by
REAL guys who have TESTED it, DONE it, then you have to download this
You’ll be learning specific techniques for
confidently walking up and approaching them, getting numbers,
“getting physical”, dating, and everything else that has
to do with success with women… without having to spend a DIME
on anything.
Enjoy!
Last Monday I received an interesting question
from a reader.
He read my last few messages about flirting and
wanted to know WHEN he should flirt?
Specifically if he should be flirting while
talking over the phone?
My response was simple.
I told him he should ALWAYS be flirting –
ESPECIALLY while calling a woman.
So let’s talk about what to ACTUALLY say while
talking on the phone.
A girl’s opinion is largely based on the feelings
she experiences during your first phone
conversation.
Most guys fail in this area because they simply
“wing it”
Instead I recommend forming a plan of action that
gives you an opportunity to FLIRT like crazy while
talking on
the phone.
Whenever calling a girl there were a NUMBER of
things you should do.
.
For instance, you should do the following during
EVERY phone conversation
1) Have a “call back humor” joke:
Before you get a number, it’s important to have
some sort of connection or private joke.
It could be a nickname you give her.
Or if you met her online, you could refer to
something about her profile that you busted her
on.
The point is using call back humor will
immediately establish that connection you formed
when you first got her number.
It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just a
something that points out the connection the two
of you have.
2) Have a few questions about her
It’s important to establish a connection with
any conversation you have with a woman.
Before calling her, jot down a few questions that
you GENUINELY want to know about her.
Ask about her:
* Hobbies and life outside work
* Dreams and aspirations
* Favorite places to travel
* Music, movies, and books she likes
Now you’ll find that many so-called “seduction
gurus” tell you to ignore any rapport seeking
questions before you know she’s into you.
And they’ll also probably recommend never asking
anything that makes you seem like you’re trying
to seek her approval.
But I honestly believe that it’s necessary to
ask questions like this.
Honestly, it’s important for creating
attraction.
However it’s EQUALLY important to make her feel
that sense of connection where you truly *get*
her.
So I recommend you ask questions about her.
But you also want to challenge her at the same
time.
Ask her WHY she likes the things she does.
Tease her a little.
Create some banter between the two of you.
3) Have stories to tell
Stories should be the backbone of ANY
attraction building conversation.
Frankly one of the BIGGEST mistake I’ve made
in the past was having nothing to talk about.
Before picking up the phone, you should jot
down a few notes about some of the interesting
things you’ve done during the week.
Also if you have a story from your past that
you know women love, NOW is the time you
should tell it!
Any story you tell should put you in the best
possible light.
It should subtly demonstrate that you’re a fun,
high status guy who has a lot going on in your
life.
And if this isn’t the truth, then it’s time to
get out there and do something!
4) Have a *date* idea
NEVER, EVER pick up the phone without having a
few fun activities planned.
It can be something you’re doing with your
friends.
Or it can be something as simple as a trip to
the mall.
The point is you want a SPECIFIC activity that
you’re doing during the week.
And then as the conversation comes to the
conclusion, you should invite her to come join
you.
Typically this is known as a *date*.
However I’m a firm believer in not using that
word OR making it sound like a big deal.
Let her know that you want to see her again.
But you’re also NOTstructuring your entire
life around seeing her.
If she agrees, she agrees.
If she doesn’t…Oh well.
Next!
Bottom line is a phone call should be a fun
experience.
Use it to establish a connection, create
attraction, and showcase your flirty, UNIQUE
personality.
Don’t make the mistake of being boring.
Instead be a exciting, engaging guy that
she’ll want to IMMEDIATELY see in person.
If you don’t know how to do it, then here’s where
to learn how to do this:
For the longest time, I thought I knew what it took to make
women laugh. I thought I knew how to be funny to girls, that I
knew all of the jokes they wanted. I thought all women wanted
was the same kinds of jokes that men did.
You know, the sarcastic wit and ironic punch lines that all
guys like. Comedy is supposed to be universal after all, right?
Wrong.
As I looked around at the guys that were getting girls, I was
noticing that the guys, in most cases, didn’t need to have a
great sense of humor. Or even be funny at all.
The *secret* was something else completely.
(**Hint**: They just knew how to “escalate”):
Oh and as to what do women find funny?
I sought to answer this question several years ago by reading
countless books. Common ones are being cocky-funny;
using a barrage of sarcasm to “bullying” women into liking
you. Things like, “You are probably trying hard to get into my
pants.” or “Stop molesting me!”
It made sense to me at the time, so I tried it out.
I ended up getting a few women to like me using this approach.
Since it seemed to be working, I tried to use this on every
woman I saw.
Big mistake.
What I learned was that the women I was using this strategy on
were the more “tomboy” side of the group, the girls who are
generally more masculine.
While that’s all well and good, what occurred to me was that, by
only attracting this small minority of women, I was leaving a
huge percentage of women still on the table.
Right off the bat, by using this method, most women hated me.
I needed to change things up.
That’s when I started to focus on watching my friend Kenzo Yamada.
Kenzo is not who I’d call the wittiest or funniest guy around,
but he always seemed to have a great rapport with women. Girls
were always around him, maybe not rolling on the ground in
stitches, but always with a playful smile on their face.
What was his secret?
Watching him, I realized that he had what I’d like to call
a “playground” or “fourth grade” sensibility when it came to
humor.
He would tell knock-knock jokes, or playfully tickle the girls.
Instead of being the greatest comic of all time, he was just
out there having fun with the girls, and that’s what they were
responding to.
And that’s when it hit me:
Girls don’t want funny, they want FUN.
But why?
A simple process for making girls laugh
Look around for a moment and realize what girls are laughing at.
They’re not heading out to the latest dark indie movie or
listening to the new Louis CK album.
(If they are, good for them, but this is a rare thing.)
They’re going out to the latest romantic comedy and having a
good time. There’s a reason romantic comedies are geared
towards a female audience. That’s what they respond to!
In the same way, don’t let your humor be too sophisticated or
clever. It’ll just look like you’re trying too hard and girls
don’t respond to guys who are out there trying to act “cool”.
They respond to guys who are just being themselves.
Especially if they themselves are fun.
Think about it: If you tell a hard-to-follow joke to a girl,
she will sit there for a moment confused, trying to figure out
your joke. That moment of her figuring-it-out, even if it’s a
great joke, is a moment that takes her out of the moment.
She just wants to respond to the fun that you’re exuding, not
worry about whether or not she’s getting the joke.
Again fun, NOT funny.
Playground humor never gets old. Just imagine you’re two
fourth-graders out on the playground at recess. Back then it
was just about simple jokes and having a fun time. This is the
kind of atmosphere you want to provide for the girl.
One of Kenzo’s favourite ways is a little bar game called the “mouse race”.
Simply take a pen and put it on a girl’s arm. Explain to her that
you are going to show her a race between three mice. Say “and
here goes the blind mouse, so tell him when you want him to stop.”
Immediately, start drawing up her arm. Obviously, she’ll tell
the mouse to stop right away – she doesn’t want an arm full
of ink, after all – so stop. Follow this up by having the
“dumb mouse” race.
Using the same process, have her tell you when he should stop.
Start drawing and, once again, she’ll immediately tell you to
stop. Finally, it’s time to race the “deaf mouse”. Start
drawing up her arm and, once again, she’ll tell you to stop.
But this time, don’t. Instead continue drawing up her arm.
If she gets the joke, she should start laughing at this silly,
stupid little joke. The point isn’t that it’s funny, but that
it’s fun. And if she doesn’t understand the joke, let her know.
“Deaf mice can’t hear you tell them to stop!” She’ll start
laughing at both the stupidity of the joke and that she wasn’t
able to put that together on her own. And then, you’re off.
Lame? Who cares, as long as it works 
Remember: Fun… NOT funny.
If you want more SPECIFICS (not lame “fluff” and “theory”) on
how to “weave” attraction building techniques into EVERY one of
your conversational threads to get the girl you’ve always
wanted to WANT YOU BACK, download this:
I used to think that appearing “cool” was enough to get a
woman interested.
I thought that if I wore the right clothes, hung out with the
right crowd, and pretended hard enough “not to be interested”
in her…. She would magically become interested in me.
And here is the kicker….
It WORKED. She usually became interested.
Yes, I could tell that my “act” opened up a window of
opportunity for me to make my move.
But that window ALWAYS closed very quickly.
And I rarely got the girl…
I think a lot of you unconsciously fall into this same trap.
You believe that you can “trick” a woman into falling for you.
But you can’t.
You CAN trick her into becoming interested in you… but if you
can’t back up that “cool guy” persona with the ability to talk
to her in a way that attracts and excites her….
You will ALWAYS lose out to the guy who can.
I experienced this firsthand many times… Let me share with you a painful story of mine,
prehaps many of you guys have experienced the same thing too.
I can remember one time in particular. I was at one of my
friend’s girlfriend’s sorority house. She was throwing a small
party. I looked around and felt good… because by my estimation
I was the “coolest” guy there.
So I did what I did best back then…
I acted like the “cool, mysterious guy” who was a little too
pre-occupied with himself to bother overly socializing with
the girls at the party.
And sure enough…I was standing in the corner talking to one
of my friends… and this short, punkish, but incredibly cute
girl comes walking right up to me, sort of stands on her
tippy toes, and leans in and kisses me on the lips.
She then proceeds to tell me how she was watching me from
across the room and she thought I was adorable.
My friend casually slips away, giving me the big thumbs up.
But the minute I was alone in the corner with her… my mind
went blank. It was like a struggle to get even the most
ordinary conversation to come out of my mouth.
She asked me a few questions… and I sort of mumbled and
grunted my answers… trying to quickly gather up something
that would capture her interest…
Finally, I blurt out my clever line: “So what’s your job?”…
The girl had just walked over, completely unprovoked, and
kissed me on the lips, tells me I’m adorable… and the only
thing I can think to say is “what’s your job?”
Well, after a few more minutes of small talk mixed with
uncomfortable pauses, and me ‘stuck in my head’, sipping
my beer religiously, trying to divert the attention away
from the fact that I was desperately searching for what
to say next…
She tells me she has to use the bathroom.
She didn’t come back.
I don’t think I have to explain to you how painful it is
to lose a girl who is practically throwing herself at you…
But this was my reality for a very long time.
What I learned the hard way was that you can have alpha
body language, a cutting edge sense of fashion, an army
of social proof…
But if you can’t talk…
You ALWAYS lose to the guy who can…
ALWAYS!
So how do you overcome this?
BE THE GUY THAT CAN TALK….
A “Secret” Women Don’t Talk About
Here is a secret that is not often talked about…
Women are rooting for you.
Yes, they want you to succeed.
They want you to hook them into a great conversation. They
want to feel an intense connection. They want “butterflies.”
They want to be seduced. And yes, they want to have sex.
They are willing to cut you A LOT of slack.
A lot of the information out there tries to make picking
up chicks seem like this “mystical” thing with layers and
layers of information you need to know…
But the truth is…
You don’t have to be SPECTACULAR…
You just have to be good enough…
You’ve probably sat and watched as a guy picked up a
beautiful woman and thought “He didn’t say anything that
great…”
The bar is NOT that high.
You just have to be slightly better than the guys
around you.
And you win.
Years after that “incident” in the sorority house I spoke
about earlier… where I watched a girl who has just kissed
me unprovoked… walk away…
I finally got “it.”
The conversation has to be fun and sexy.
That’s it.
That has ALWAYS been it.
Fun and sexy.
It was like flicking a light switch and filling a dark
room with light. All of the sudden everything became
crystal clear. And I felt a sense of excitement about
going out to talk to women that I never experienced before.
The best way I can describe it was sort of like the feeling
you get when your adrenaline is pumping from a shot of
caffeine, or the surge of relaxed confidence a good beer
buzz usually provides…
It’s like you begin to see the world as completely limitless.
ANYTHING is possible. Almost like you’re escaping from this
imaginary shell that has enclosed you all of your life…
FUN and SEXY.
This means:
1. You keep her entirely “in the moment.”
2. You turn your conversation with her into a “fun” game.
3. You don’t hide the fact that you’re a sexual being.
4. You accept the fact that she is a sexual being.
5. You keep the “spotlight of the conversation” on the two of you
6. And you keep ESCALATING.
If I had to name the biggest reason most guys “blow it” is
because they don’t keep escalating their conversations to the
next level…
If a conversation hits a plateau for too long… the tension is
released and she gets bored.
Many guys hit this “plateau” get frustrated, and give up.
So how do you overcome this “plateau?”
You are ALWAYS escalating the conversation.
… And if you’re struggling to keep a conversation moving
forward then you SERIOUSLY should download this:
http://secret.buckmylife.com/
You are going to find that if you can simply make your
conversations more fun and sexy… and keep them escalating
forward… you’ll be able to draw out a side of the woman
that she is dying to let loose…
Remember, she is rooting for you.
It’s your job to not mess it up.
Go now and discover how to create the kind of conversations that
women tell their friends about weeks later:
Talk to you again soon.
Edison Ng
A few weeks ago I received an excellent question regarding the
now famous (or rather, infamous) Girls Gone Wild videos. This
doer wanted to know exactly why women behave that way, and if
there was anything to learn from it.
This is one reason why “girls go wild” on those videos–to make
themselves feel important in front of their friends. The
lesson here is, if you can make someone feel important, they
will want to spend time with you, and will do all kinds of
things to keep that feeling.
Here’s another reason why “girls go wild.” If you watch,
there’s usually one or two “bad girls” who start the whole
thing, and then the more restrained ones join in, even though
they’d never start it. Why? Social proof–”because everyone
else is doing it, I should do it.”
Social proof is an extremely powerful tool of influence — it’s
why the networks use laugh tracks on sitcoms.
Because the audience is laughing, you feel like you should be,
even if the show is dumb. Although it sounds like it shouldn’t,
and we’ve all been cautioned against it, social proof is (and
will always be) a powerful tool for influence.
Here’s one more reason girls “go wild” and it has to do with
what I refer to as “the frame.” The frame is simply the set of
rules governing the interaction.
You can take these same set of women, and put them in an office
environment, with consequences for mis-behavior and they will
not “go wild.” But put them on Spring Break or the beach (in
other words, change the frame) and they will “go wild.”
It’s simply a matter of changing the frame.
It’s why the severely dressed attorney who wears birth control
glasses and puts her hair up in a bun at the office, dresses
in tight, skimpy clothes with lots of cleavage, and lets her
hair down when she goes out on Saturday night.
The frame is changed, and so is her behavior.
She’ll do things in that environment that she’d never do in her
office.
The thing to keep in mind is this: if a woman is not behaving
the way you like, you need to change the frame, the set of
rules governing the interaction.
She may not “go wild,” (or she might) but she will change
her behavior.
Ti find out more about how to turn a girl WILD:
http://secret.buckmylife.com/
——————-
AS TO WHY MEN FAIL
——————-
Well, human nature is incredibly fascinating to me, and I am in
a unique position to observe it. There are a lot of guys on our
newsletters all part of one big ass family, and it is always an
interesting exercise to see the different reactions of people
to the exact same email, or the exact same information.
This, of course, has to do with what’s called “map or model of
the world” — everyone gets the same input, but the reaction
(output) is different.
Why?
Because how the individual views the world governs response to
behavior. Your map or model of the world determines your
outcomes in life.
Luckily, if you’re not getting the results you want, you can
simply change your map or model and the results will follow.
I want to talk about what I call “failure maps.”
Every now and then my assistant Jennifer forwards me an email
from a guy who should be attractive to women saying, “it didn’t
work for him.” And then she forwards me several emails with
exciting success stories from guys, who by any stretch of the
imagination have a lot to overcome (looks, weight, age, etc.)
What’s the difference between the guy “it didn’t work for”
and the guy with the success story who had a heck of a lot
more to overcome?
It’s not the information because they both got the same product
and receive the same emails. In other words, same input,
different output.
The difference lies in their respective maps.
One guy’s map is oriented towards success, the other guy’s
toward failure.
The successful guy asks, “how can I make this work for me?”
The guy who failed says, “it won’t work for me, because…”
One guy takes responsibility for his outcomes, the other has
already decided the information (and not him) is to blame.
One very interesting thing I have noticed is, the “it won’t
work because…” guys send in their email very soon (usually 2
days) after they’ve gotten the materials.
The success stories usually come in several weeks later.
Why?
Because most of the guys who succeed, fail at first … but they
ask themselves “how can I make it work for me?” and go out and
test a slightly different approach predicated on the information
they got from me — their map dictates they do so.
If you look at the “it won’t work for because…” guys, you’ll
see this carries over into other areas of their life.
If someone tells them about a new fitness routine they say,
“this won’t work for me because…” If someone tells them about
starting a business they say, “it won’t work for me because…”
If someone tells them they can make money investing in real
estate they say, “it won’t work for me because…”
This is a failure map, and if you hear your brain telling you
this, you immediately need to interrupt this pattern with,
“no, the right question is, how can I make this work for me?”
How do I know this?
Because I used to have a bout with “it won’t work for me
because…” demon.
But, the instant I switched the question to, “how can I make
this work?” my results started changing. This slight
“re-mapping” process has allowed me to experience some major
successes the old “it won’t work because…” never would have.
Oh, it still crops up, but as soon as I remap the process, I
usually do find a way to make it work for me, and the truth
is, it is usually much easier than I thought it would be.
So, if you’re not currently getting the results you want to,
have a look at your internal map, and pay attention to what
your brain is telling you. Replace any “I can’ts…” or “it
won’ts” with “how can I?” and you will be amazed at your
external results. I sure was!
Which leads to my next question for you…
————————————–
HOW IMPORTANT ARE WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE?
————————————–
… Or put another way, do you really need women in your life?
It’s funny — I’ll get an email that says, “if I could only get
this one special girl, my life would be perfect,” then the next
one says, “all women are dogs, and you’re better off without
them.”
Obviously, these are both extremes, but it does bring up the
question, how important are women in your life?
My view?
Well, while there are certainly different strokes for different
folks, I’ll submit that having women in your life on your terms
is extremely important to your success and overall well-being.
The man who knows he can attract women, the man who women flock
to, has a much healthier self image than the man who says, “I
don’t need them” but secretly wants one anyways.
If you know how to create attraction with women, things just go
much better. You’re not worried about women cheating on you,
you’re not worried about meeting them, and you don’t have any
difficulty in your day to day interactions with them.
The man who says he doesn’t “want or need them” is referring, of
course, to the results of attraction gone bad, not to women
themselves (even though he may delude himself into thinking
that’s the case).
Now, the man who hangs his hat on “one special woman” is in
just as bad shape because he thinks that being with “the woman
of his dreams” is going to bring him emotional fulfillment.
Not true at all — that only comes from within, from have a healthy
self image, from expecting to be successful with women.
It is important to recognize that women DO play a very important
role in men’s lives, but equally important to realize that you
CAN and choose what that role is for yourself.
Mastering the art and science of attraction is what allows you
to choose that role, and experience all the wonderful things
there are to experience with women.
And to master the art and science of attraction, check this out:
http://secret.buckmylife.com/
———————————————————
AS FOR THOSE WHO ARE THINKING OF GETTING INTO PERMANENT
RELATIONSHIPS
———————————————————
For some reason, society teaches us from day one that the way to
everlasting fulfillment is to find that one special person (“the
one”), let the sparks fly, and then live happily ever after.
Doesn’t quite work that way, does it? In fact, the only thing
really true about that statement is the “sparks flying.” Most
people do meet someone, and the sparks do fly.
But “sparks flying” has little to do with the success of a long
term relationship. Unfortunately, many people make a “complex
equivalence” between the two, thinking that sparks flying =
successful long term relationship
So, what do they do?
Declare themselves in a “permanent relationship” with each other,
believing that indeed, they will live happily ever after and it
will only get better and better and better.
After a few months, of course, the “cocaine high” of attraction
wears off, and they are left with the reality of daily existence
with each other, which for some strange reason, is not as
hunky-dory as they thought it would be.
There’s a reason why there’s so many divorce lawyers in this
country.
After the “reality of daily existence” sets in, the relationship
either crumbles, with both parties accusing the other of
“changing” and what each once thought was love, now turns to
bitterness.
But here’s the real funny thing: if you ask each of them what
they’d like to have happen they say they “want to meet someone
for a long term relationship.”
And then they repeat the whole charade, getting into another
“permanent relationship” the next time the “sparks fly.” They
say they’re looking for “the one,” but all they really find is
“the next one,” in a downward spiral of misery and failed
relationships.
Am I against long term permanent relationships?
No, not at all.
What I am against is people making decisions to get into one based
on feeling attraction, chemistry, “sparks flying,” or my all time
favorite, “clicking.” (I’ve always said that “clicking” is the
sound you hear just before the gun goes off).
Attraction is a prerequisite for long term relationships, but has
little to do with the success of them.
Why?
Because attraction wears off quickly.
And when it’s gone, what you’re left with is what makes a long
term relationship successful–how compatible you are with the other
person in lifestyle preferences, conflict resolution, mutual
goals, and a shared outlook on life.
Most of these things are too boring to think about when two
people declare themselves “in love,” but they discover all
too quickly that “love” takes a backseat to these things on
a daily basis.
What’s the solution to avoiding a mess like this?
Making decisions with your head, not your heart. If sparks
are flying, and you’re feeling attraction, then you should
enjoy the attraction as long as it lasts, recognizing that,
unless you’re a Martian, it’s going to wear off.
But you must resist the urge to declare the relationship
permanent, unless you are BOTH making the decision to do
so based on reality, not what “should be.”
Ask yourself this question: “If I felt no attraction for this
woman whatsoever, could I still live with her, and enjoy her
company on a day to day basis, and get the fulfillment I desire
from my relationship with her? Why?”
Then list the reasons.
If the answer is still “yes,” then you’re making a decision to get
into a relationship with her based on your head, not your heart.
And when you mix attraction back into the question, then you can
experience something really wonderful.
But keep in mind, attraction and love have nothing to do with
each other–one is transient, the other permanent.
What if the answer to this question is “no?” Should you
immediately dump her? No, not at all–you can still enjoy each
other’s company on a long term basis, either as friends,
adventure partners, etc.
In this way you get to enjoy and maintain the attraction
without the daily realities that kill many relationships.
You can also enjoy spending time with other women who meet your
needs in different ways. Then, when the time is right for you,
you can CHOOSE to get into a permanent relationship that has
a real chance for long term success.
But when it comes to “love,” be sure to lead with your head,
NOT your heart.
Attraction comes from the heart, love comes from the head –
it’s a dang shame society has those two confused.
A single woman, who hasn’t been completely frustrated in her
experiences with men and who is not excessively jaded, craves
a romantic experience and dreams about meeting that guy who
will bring romance into her life.
However, there is a lot of confusion about what “being romantic
with women” means, and this issue certains deserves
clarification.
The notion of romance has significantly evolved during the
past few generations.
There is at least one major, important difference between what
it meant to be romantic 10 or 20 years ago and between what
being a romantic guy means today.
Today, any reasonably intelligent woman with some dating
experience will perceive many of the typically considered
romantic things as cheesy and cliche.
Long walks on the beach and looking at the stars in the evening
used to be considered some of the most romantic activities.
Today, however, after watching dozens of romantic movies and
soap operas, many women would consider such activities to be
cheesy, cliche and lacking in creativity.
“Long walks on the beach” is used more as a joke nowdays than
as a romantic fantasy that it used to be.
This means that to come across as a fun and romantic guy today,
you must do things that are different and unique from what a
woman used to experiencing and hearing from others.
Here are few tips on how you can come across as a more
romantic guy:
1. First, you must remember that whether you come across as
romantic DEPENDS MUCH MORE ON WHETHER THE GIRL LIKES YOU
OR NOT and it depends much LESS on the activity that both
of you are engaged in.
If she likes you already, it won’t really matter how you spend
your time together. A simple cup of coffee with you at a
grungy coffee shop is going to be much more romantic than fine
dining with a guy who she finds boring.
So, focus on being a more INTERESTING COMPANY, and many aspects
of being romantic will take care of themselves.
2. Don’t try to be romantic too early. There is no reason to
wear a suit, or bring flowers and candy on a first date. Romantic
gestures are only special and significant if they come from a
guy who means something to a woman.
Therefore, you should hold off on doing special things until
such time that you become at least somewhat special to each
other.
Fine dining on a first date is likely to do nothing but make
the two people who don’t know each other very well to feel
awkward in a stuffy environment.
On the other hand, a special dinner celebrating an anniversary
or another even special to both dating partners will be a
very romantic experience.
3. Be unpredictable. Being unique and different can be simple
and very inexpensive. Here are just a few ideas:
a. Burn a CD of some rare kind of tribal/loungy music, and
make a simple voice dedication to her at the beginning of that
CD, saying something like: “I don’t know much about your taste
in music, but something tells me that you will like it.”
You can be sure that she probably never received a gift like
that, and she will be thrilled with this kind of surprise,
uniquely tailored to her.
b. Don’t wait for the “right” and “appropriate” time to kiss
the girl.
If you feel that she likes you and she is attracted to you,
catch her by surprise, lean over and grab her gently and
kiss her.
c. It’s easier to be romantic in a quiet, secluded environment
than in a crowded place. You are not likely to come across as
romantic hanging out downtown on your first date or going to a
farmers market.
Going to a park or a small cafe where the two of you will be
among the very few other people will make your interaction
much more compelling.
d. Be random and unpredictable in your actions and conversation.
A conversation with a woman is not an English class composition.
You don’t need to use smooth transitions or introductions.
Talk about science, politics, math, Britney Spears, the latest
movie you saw, fashion, your favorite animals, basketball…
ask her random questions and notice random things around you.
Don’t feel that you have to follow a certain order in the way
you go about “getting to know her.” There is no rule that
says that you should ask a girl how many siblings she has and
where her family is from, before you find out what her
favorite ice cream flavor is.
e. Buy a cup of coffee and a snack and walk/drive to some nice
square or park. If she wants to see on the bench, and it’s a
warm day, tell her “no way” and bring her to sit down on the
grass, as this will be far more intimate and unconventional.
f. And again, above all – be interesting. Nothing boring
should come out of your mouth. If the girl is smart,
open-minded and easy going, she will enjoy banter and sarcasm,
which means that you have no excuse to not be funny, witty
and interesting. So, if she asks you how long you have been
single, don’t simply answer that question.
Tell her with a very serious face and tone of voice that you
are married but you are looking for a girlfriend, and she
will surely laugh at this kind of smart-ass come back.
4. Maintain Eye Contact – there can be no romance between
the two, if they don’t look into each other’s eyes. This
doesn’t mean that you have to stare in the woman’s eyes at
all times, but you should make sure certainly maintain eye
contact when you talk to her, as your eyes might tell her
a better story about who you are and how you feel about her
than your words.
And, if the girl is very shy and she avoids eye contact,
tease her about it and ask her: “You are not looking me in
the eyes… am I that ugly?”
To get more advanced tips to romance a girl and break the barrier, visit
Some guys have trouble attracting women because
they FEAR – The Approach.
For most men, the very thought of starting a
conversation is major phobia.
It’s similar to the fear many have with public
speaking.
Obviously, this can be quite a hindrance when
trying to meet women.
So how do you fix it?
First off, you can go to this website and download a FREE report:
==> http://www.buckmylife.com
Next, you want to fix this problem in the simplest
manner as possible.
I’ve learned the best way to become more
comfortable approaching women is to simply
practice DOING it.
I know this sounds overly simplistic, but the best
way to overcome a fear of approaching women is to
do it as MUCH as possible.
Yes, you’re going to be a little nervous at first.
But that happens to the best of us.
Furthermore, don’t WORRY about what to say.
Forget about memorizing lines and using a
*routine* you learned online, simply get out there
and get practice by approaching as many women as
possible.
Okay, you might be wondering WHY this technique
works.
Well look at it this way….
Think back to when you were first learning to
drive.
You would read books about the rules of the road.
Eventually, you believed you knew all you needed
to be a terrific driver until you sat behind the
wheel for the first time.
At that point, you realized driving was much
harder than you anticipated.
You were nervous at first, but gradually became a
good driver (at least we hope so!).
Approaching women is no different.
It is most effectively learned though hands-on,
repetitive practice.
After a while, you will begin to learn what works
best and what simply doesn’t work.
Now, you are probably a little hesitant for fear
of being rejected.
Here’s a secret ~~~>
You’re not alone!
Every guy worries about rejection.
The trick is to not look at rejection as bad, but
rather as an opportunity to refine your approach
and learn what does and does not work.
The most obvious way to learn what DOESN’T work
is when you are rejected.
Eventually, you will figure out what DOES work.
So when should you start?
That’s easy…NOW!
Don’t waste any more time.
As I mentioned earlier, men often waste too much
time sitting around trying to figure out how to
succeed when it comes to meeting women.
Rather than trying to figure out these theories
on the sideline, the best way to figure them out
is to get out there and try them.
I encourage you to try to approach at least three
women per day.
Try complimenting them, or asking for the time.
At this point, what you say is not quite as
important as the act of approaching them.
As you begin to approach more women, you will
eventually feel more comfortable and more
confident in your attraction skills.
Now, if you are still hesitant to just get out
there and try it, you can always write down a few
ideas before hand.
Whatever it takes to get you out there! Soon, you
will be confident in your skills and forget about
any fear of rejection you once had.
Again, if you’re stuck with the actual words to
use, then I HIGHLY recommend you take a look at
this resource:
==> http://secret.buckmylife.com
It has been proven that over 90% of *what you say* is done on
the non-verbal level.
You can literally seduce a woman through your
movement and mannerisms.
Don’t believe me?
Watch the guys who are really good with women.
Odds are, they don’t really say a lot. Instead they let their attitude do the talking.
Over the years in training, we have compiled
“13 Traits of High Status Body Language”
Here you go:
1) Don’t seek approval from others
2) Have a Confident *Look*
3) Show strong eye contact
4) Walk with purpose
5) Always be at ease
6) Smile at people
7) Sexual communicate with women
Lead women by taking bold action
9) Show playfulness
10) Have a teasing personality
11) Be dominant around women
12) Act cool
13) Have high energy
It will be good if you can paste this 13 traits in
front of your mirror to remind yourself before you
set off for the day.
For secrets to buck your life, pls visit
http://secret.buckmylife.com/
Recently, I received an email from one of my readers. He
said,
I am 36 years old and I’m single again after ending a long-term
relationship. The woman I was dating was my age, and like most women that age
who are unmarried and don’t have kids, she was eager to tie the knot with me
and start having babies.
Well, I’m not ready for that. And I’d prefer to have a younger girlfriend who
is sexy, fun to be around, nd doesn’t have all the “baggage” of a
chick my age.
So, I met this total hottie a few months ago. She’s 26 years old. (Perfect.) I
was taking some courses at the local community college and she was in one of my
classes…
We always talked after class, and we met a few times at the campus library to
study together.
I was growing to really like her, but it was hard to understand what she
wanted. Sometimes she acted very flirty towards me, and other times she acted
cold and distant. She would sometimes call me twice a day to chat, and then she
would stop calling me and wouldn’t return my calls for a few days.
I asked her many times to go on a date with me. Once, she agreed to meet me for
lunch, but then she called me at the last minute and cancelled.
Our class ended three weeks ago. Now she will not answer my phone calls but we
communicate with text messages. She confessed to me that she is still hurting
from breaking up with her ex-boyfriend John. She says she loves me as a friend
and our friendship is very important to her, but she isn’t ready for another
serious relationship.
When I try to get her to meet me, she always has an excuse.
I know she cares about me and if she just wants to be friends, that’s okay. But
I need to know if I have a chance of making her my girlfriend.
I hope you have some “bulletproof” advice for me!
My reply:
You, my friend, have wound up in the Friend Zone. This is a common situation
with men who are trying to follow the “normal” rules with women. (In
other words, being nice, sweet, respectful, and following her lead… )
Because let’s be honest. Is any guy ever satisfied having a female
“friend” to talk to, when what he really wants from her is sex?
Of course not.
And it’s only a matter of time before she meets some other guy who DOES make
her feel sexually attracted, and once they start hooking up she’ll no longer have
any need to hang out with you.
And do you really need female friends to talk to and share your problems with?
No.
You’ve got your buddies to fill that role in your life, and they can relate to
you much better than a chick that makes you feel depressed and sexually
frustrated.
So let me give you my Top 6 tips for busting out of the Friend Zone and getting
women sexually interested in you…
1. Limit your availability. I’m willing to bet that whenever this girl does
call you, you eagerly answer the
phone and chat with her for as long as she wants.
You THINK that when you spend two hours on the phone with
her, sharing your life stories and telling her about the girl who broke your
heart when you were in the tenth grade, you’re building some kind of deep
“connection” with her.
But what you’re actually doing is removing ANY sense of mystery about yourself,
and letting her know that you have nothing else going in your life… and no
other women. This is massively UN-attractive to her.
(I know that when you’re a man who is struggling with his dating life, and
haven’t hooked up with a chick in a while, this takes a LOT of discipline. Your
instinct is to make yourself totally available to her and try to spend as much
time as possible with her. Well, go ahead and keep doing it this way, if you
want to keep wondering why women lose interest in you… )
2. Until you’ve slept with a woman, limit your phone chats with her to five
minutes. And don’t get caught up in constant text-messaging. Give her the sense
that you’re a busy man with places to be.
Use these short phone calls, or text exchanges, to lock down your plans to see
her again. Save the deep conversations for when you are actually spending time with her.
3. Women are moody and emotional. Get used to it, and know how to deal with it.
When she start acting weird or distant, she is testing you. She wants to see
how you will respond.
Do you kiss her ass and ask her “what’s wrong?” Do you get frustrated
and angered by her behavior? (Either of these responses will only make her get
more moody!)
Or, do you behave like a firm, direct MAN? (Tell her, “Well, I can tell
you’ve got some things on your mind right now, so why don’t you take some time
to sort it out and get back to me. I’ve got some things I need to handle right
now.”) Read More
